Apparently the original image was unceremoniously stolen from someone's Flickr account. Sorry about that!

Intrigue! Wonder! SCIENCE! There is no time for pre-break paraphrasing of the vast and riddle-laden mysteries nestled within this week’s backlog. They are too great. Too fragile, perhaps. Inadequate minds would be at a loss if I just threw out the summarized refuse of what might possibly be our worst best backlog ever. I, a humble scribe of purely narratorial (new word) intentions, can barely contain myself during this soon-to-be historical moment; all of this feverish typing is done so with the tight, icy hand of anticipation musing its bony little fingernails into my literary jugular. It commands more words, and bigger and longer and shorter verbs; it shrieks, “More! And faster, and BETTER punctuation, FEWER dashes, that is a GERUND, now use that exclamation point here, stop with the italics because no one likes those! ADVERB!” This entire paragraph is simply devoid of any merit, but I’m still writing!

The tension is building, dear reader. Do you dare click the “Read the rest of this entry” link? Do you? Horrors never seen, never smelled or touched, wait beneath the artificially tranquil whiteness of the CRT monitor in front of you — a beacon of glory with its Bauhaus collage of cat hair, flakes of skin and Taco Bell Fire Sauce fingerprints. You’re expecting something now, something major — possibly even satisfactory or mildly amusing. Do not. Don’t. Placing trust in our ability to “journal” is foolish, and the oily gremlins of disappointment will suck you through that humming, buzzing radiation box to a world of malcontent and pointlessness. But, I ask again, are you nevertheless prepared?

No? You’re not going to click it? After I birthed all of that fluffed up prose — 13 minutes of my life to be clear — above? Wow. Thanks. Really cool of you, man. I’ll be over here kicking rocks with my hands in my pockets, and hanging my head in disappointment.

Anyway…I lied. Here’s the summary: Doug’s M.I.S. (missing in school), Nick’s manifesto has been uncovered by baffled authorities, and I spew some less ridiculous bull and talk about what I played. Hooray! We’re a bit strange this time around.

The deceptive, siren-y beauty of Dragon Age: Origins has cracked Nick

Nick:

Editor’s Note: We thank our readers for their unwavering support over the last week. Thankfully, after having been missing for six days, Nick was discovered by Humboldt County police huddled between two dumpsters behind the Burger King clutching a foam broadsword between his limbs. A search of his apartment yielded the following journal entries:

Hour 1 — I just bought Dragon Age, and I’m already wondering just what I was thinking. Baldur’s Gate was awfully boring, and this is practically the same thing. I mean, c’mon — magic? Dragons? Long-winded conversations with one-dimensional characters? Puh-lease.
Hour 7 — It is now 5:20 in the morning and I haven’t left my desk chair for any reason other than to relieve myself. The last two hours were spent in my party’s camp trying to sweet-talk Alistair into having sex with my elf rogue. Should I have ethical qualms about seducing such an earnest person? I mean, he’s so sincere and charming and…and…He’s an excellent tank. I’ll need to keep an eye on his strength stat, though. Yeah.
Hour 19 — I’ve completed 23% of what the game has to offer. It occurs to me that content will probably be release faster than I can finish it. Fortunately, my aspirations died months ago and I wasn’t really planning on doing much else.
Hour 38 — Still not sure how to parse my feelings about Alistair. Spent a long time staring at the mirror this morning.
Hour 43 — Tried to explain to my significant other why bringing Dragon Age into our household could be good for both of us. Frustrated to discover my master persuasion skill doesn’t apply to reality. I don’t think she’ll be back.
Hour 92 – I need to know everything. All of Ferelden’s secrets; every conceivable outcome; every nuance of every party member. What makes them tick? What happens if I change my behavior ever so slightly? Dell shipped another six computers today. Expensive? Maybe. But a mere pittance for the opportunity to multi-box this game.
Hour 112 — Alistair body pillow arrived from Etsy.com.
Hour 170 — Police here.
Hour 294 — It’s done. I have become the alpha-geek. My jeans lie in tatters; my muscles have atrophied; I’ve even grown a hint of a disreputable mustache. And I’m really, really hungry.

Artist's interpretation

Doug:

Unfortunately, Doug has been absorbed into the Portland State University hivemind this week. We expect he’ll resurface soon with a decidedly more Borg-ish makeover.

Water effects!

Aaron:

Even after the credits had stopped, Assassin’s Creed II kept me glued to my most comfy seat — though most of that extra time was spent scratching my head in confusion. The series is taking quite the epic/weird turn according to the various plot details unveiled in the sequel. I can’t imagine what other “WTF” moments the AC team will conjure up for the third game. All I know is, at this very second, I can’t wait for it. Everything about AC2 was wonderful. It was lengthy without being overwhelming, and that struck me the most. Most games either go on for far too long (Metal Gear Solid 2…and perhaps 4), or they miss the important climax moments in the story and character development departments by ending abruptly (screw you, Halo 2). It’s rare that a game can be perfectly paced and satisfying at the same time.

Torchlight was my second fancy this week. I’m intending to finish the game I so lavishly praised in past articles, because if I don’t my credibility will find itself even more bankrupt than it currently is. Would anyone out there in cyberspace like us to review the game? It’s a question I continue to raise to myself (who is frankly uninterested in what I have to say, oddly enough), and the pros and cons of the situation aren’t exactly clear, or existent. Someone just tell me to do it so I’m more motivated.

Guess who finished Ghostbusters: The Video Game: me! A shocker, I know. It was a fun distraction overall. A few awkwardly off-time cutscenes, over-repeated contextual dialogue lines from Bill Murray and a couple poorly designed levels to ‘bust in don’t make a strong case for purchasing this title, but it’s still hilarious at times and a nostalgic trip for all of us wannabe Ghostbusters out there. I do own it though, so the possibility of playing through to get more achievements is quite likely; I’m just not sure if right now is a good time to start a second playthrough. What with Mass Effect 2: Collectors’ Edition (oh yes, I roll deep) destroying my existence come Tuesday.

Well, it was fun while it lasted.

With December and its myriad holidays out of the way, everybody’s got something to keep them busy. Doug’s back to work on his master’s program, Aaron has transformed into a job-applying machine, and I’ve thankfully found a job once again. Unfortunately, that means we all have a whole lot less time to be playing games, but that doesn’t mean we’re going to turn a blind eye to our sacred obligation to Silicon Sasquatch. Don’t worry! We’ve got a couple great articles that are almost ready for publication, and we’re anticipating a full run of content next week.

In the meantime, here’s what we’ve been keeping ourselves busy with.

Aaron wouldn't say 'I ain't afraid of no ghosts': he has much less bravado toward specters than you might think.

Aaron:

Now, the game I actually have something say about is Ghostbusters: The Video Game. Maybe it’s because I only paid a meager $12.99 at GameFly’s used game store (with free shipping), but I can’t help but like what I’ve seen. I’m perhaps halfway though the story now, and while the camera and controls are a bit rough around the edges, Ghostbusters is pure fun for fans of the movies. It’s by no means perfect, and that’s fine. The humor is there, the attention to detail in the firehouse headquarters is there, the proton packs are spot-on and the thrill of catching a ghost in a trap still makes me giggle just like my 6-year-old self used to with my toy Nerf proton pack and authentic jumpsuit. Ghostbusters is simple fun layered over a strong IP, and I truly hope Atari gives Terminal Reality another shot in future sequel. Maybe when the third movie finally (maybe) sees release next year, a tie-in game could coincide with the film’s debut.

In case you'd like some added context, here's what's happening. Man on the left: "Colonel! What have you been hiding from me!?" Man in giant robot: "Snaaaaaaaaaaake!"

Doug:

Much like Aaron, I’m just going to list out most of what I played over our holiday break because, being a degenerate graduate student, I had almost nothing productive to do between Thanksgiving and this week, when classes re-started up in earnest. Because that means a lot of time to play games, I’m just going to cut the fat and go list-happy.

I finished Brütal Legend (which seemed like it lost its storytelling steam a bit at the very end) and am close to finishing Batman: Arkham Asylum (trap-laden gargoyles are my kryptonite right now). I almost have what the gentlemen at Giant Bomb would term an “S-rank” (or 1000/1000 achievement score) on Forza Motorsport 3, which I also did a lot of online racing on during the break. I was definitely happy to hit Level 50 in that game and get the last gifted car.

The only game really worth the meagre Xbox Live sale over the holiday break was Marvel vs. Capcom 2, which was marked down to almost 60 percent off the regular list price and is worth every penny. Better than arcade-perfect, with every character unlocked from the start and online multiplayer capable? Yes, please. I also received a kind gift in the form of Shadow Complex, which scratches my Metroid-vania itch in so many ways. Definitely one of the best Xbox 360-only games of last year.

Lastly, my sports game fix has come in two forms — first, as part of multiple trips to downtown Portland old-school arcade Ground Kontrol, I’ve fulfilled my basketball jones by playing a bunch of NBA Jam. Nick and I (and friend of the site Andrew) went to GK on New Year’s Eve, and besides crushing the X-Men 6-player arcade game, the most fun had was running the two-man game with the Blazers on NBA Jam. The other sports game I picked up was, finally, Pro Evo Soccer 2010…which definitely lives up to the expectations I had for it based off my playtime with the demo. It may not be as pretty as FIFA 10, but it provides a much more challenging and fulfilling soccer experience. Crank the difficulty all the way up and enjoy smart AI in a sports game for once.

The story of a witch, her hair, and gratuitous almost-nudity. This is gonna be awkward.

Nick:

As a test to see who’s interested in the blog, I offered up a vote on our Facebook page to ask people which game they’d rather see me purchase and review first: Demon’s Souls or Bayonetta. Although there was support for both, Bayonetta got the nod and I picked up a copy last night. While I’ve only had time to play about ten minutes of the game, those ten minutes were extraordinarily promising. I just hope the game’s rampant, bizarre sexuality doesn’t weird out my friends and loved ones.

The majority of my free time has been spent on — yeah, you guessed it — Dragon Age: Origins. I keep thinking I’m getting close to the end, and then another 15-hour sequence of quests pops up. I’m absolutely enamored with the game, so I think I won’t have any complaints if it turns out the game just never ends.

How’s everybody? Are we all still here?

There’s no way around it: We’re all a little light in the pocketbooks, and October’s only just arrived. None of us were prepared for some of the year’s biggest hits to hit us in a deluge throughout August and September, but with games like Batman: Arkham Asylum, The Beatles: Rock Band and Halo 3: ODST hitting shelves before the fourth quarter of the year, it’s hard to hold fast with one’s spending — even with surefire hits like Uncharted 2: Among Thieves and Brütal Legend arriving just next week.

To prepare for the next volley of big-name releases, the Silicon Sasquatch team has been busy wrapping up some recent blockbusters.

By diverging from the tried-and-true formula of its predecessors, Halo 3: ODST delivers a refreshing experience with memorable characters — arguably a first for the franchise.

Aaron:

A lot of games found their way into my PC and Xbox 360′s disc drives this week, but let me highlight which one left a lasting impression on me: Halo 3: ODST.

I’ll be the first to confess that I’ve purchased every console iteration of the series, from Halo: Combat Evolved to Halo Wars. This type of customer devotion doesn’t stem from blind fanboy love or “Xbot” ignorance; honestly, when it comes down to it I think Halo is solidly decent at best, boring and uninspired at worst. I more or less have purchased the various games to play with friends online, and to not miss out on the experience. So why would I purchase ODST when the other games have generally made me say “lol meh” more times than a thread on NeoGAF? Two words: price point.

I procured a copy for around $44 dollars through Amazon, as was mentioned in last week’s backlog. This particular entry price forced me to give the series another shot, and while the cheapness certainly eased the process of reaching for my credit card, I never expected to like the game more than “kinda.” But even four chapters in, this is the best Halo-branded title I’ve ever played.

It might look the same and feel the same, but the tone and story are much more humanized than the faceless, stalwart Master Chief’s adventures ever were. The ODSTs are soldiers you can care about thanks to wonderful voice acting and animations. Halo 3: ODST may be born of the Halo pedigree, but it’s an overall smarter experience that stands apart from the shadow of its big brother. If this is the direction the series takes in lieu of a direct sequel, Bungie deserves a hefty pat on the over shield.

Sit back and let the evening go!

Doug:

So I finally rented The Beatles: Rock Band. I know it seems like forever since it was released, but it was just a month — the gaming industry just moves quickly, and things become passé within a week.

The rental was completely worth it. I blitzed through the story mode in just under four hours — I wanted that “Day Tripper” achievement and dammit, I got it — but it was an absolutely amazing experience from start to finish. Without encroaching too much on what a review of the game would be (check back next week! — Ed.), I think it was the most complete guitar/band game I’ve played so far, with excellent note charts, songs, and aesthetic throughout. I’m going to own this game, and it’s just a matter of “when,” not “if.”

Otherwise I’ve continued to put time in on EA Sports’ two football video games, NCAA Football 10 and Madden NFL 10. I’ve noticed a difference between defense in the two; namely, that in NCAA it’s just a nice suggestion, but in Madden it can be truly effective. Playing with an average to mediocre defense in NCAA is a battle of futility — many times, especially with strong offensive teams, you’re just trying to slow the opponent down instead of truly stop them. I get that same sensation playing against the CPU as well.

Compared to Madden, though, it’s almost 100% different. Defense in Madden is worth playing — and it seems somehow fairer than defenses in NCAA. Sure, the CPU might go into banzai EA Sports rubber-band mode and decide you are just NOT winning a game in both titles, but in Madden it feels like your defense at least has the chance to do that, too. Not to mention that, much like in the real NFL, there’s a much higher chance of forcing a punt than in college football.

I’ve also been inspired by Eat-Sleep-Game.com‘s RebelFM Game Club, which is currently focusing on Half-Life 2 and its two extra episodes. I’ve started Half-Life 2 before but never completed it, never mind the episodes, and I’m getting the trigger finger itch again…so I might have to sit down with my copy of The Orange Box soon and give it another go.

Bustin' like it's 1991.

Nick:

Call it devotion, obsession or foolishness, but I’m planning on picking up two brand-new games next Tuesday: Brütal Legend and Uncharted 2: Among Thieves. That means I’ve only got three more days to tie up any loose ends with the games I’ve picked up over the last few months, because games like Borderlands, Modern Warfare 2 and New Super Mario Bros. Wii are just a few weeks away.

I wrapped up a few games this week:

1. Red Faction: Guerilla‘s single-player expansion, Demons of the Badlands: If this summer’s taught me anything, it’s that any excuse to demolish buildings on Mars is a worthwhile reason. Unfortunately, Demons’ biggest fault is its pricing: $10 for a measly two hours of more of the same.
2. Ghostbusters: The Video Game – I know it’s weird, but I only just saw Ghostbusters for the first time this summer. Even without sharing in the rest of my generation’s adoration for the movies, I found there was plenty to love in this carefully crafted videogame adaptation. Despite only lasting four or five hours, it’s well worth the price of a rental.
3. Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts and Bolts – Don’t be fooled by the game’s vehicle-driven gameplay: This is Rare at its finest. Focusing on its trademark wry humor and a very well-designed vehicle construction system, Nuts and Bolts is one of the most criminally overlooked hits on the Xbox 360.